Forever Plaid at Center Stage Playhouse

Center Stage is currently showing Forever Plaid. I went and took pictures for them last night. It's a wonderful show. The cast is all so talented!! I highly recommend going to see it if you get the chance!!

My Pipe Dream...

One thing I know for sure...Life does NOT turn out the way you expect it to. Sometimes I feel like a two year old, and when life doesn't give me what I want I throw my little tantrum. The great thing about being a grown-up is that after time has past we can look back and see that the path we're on is even better than what we wanted to begin with.

Many of the dreams I had growing up have fallen by the wayside. I had this naive vision of being a young mom straight out of 1950s. Cooking, sewing, crafts, scrapbooking, attending the local bake sales and school fundraisers. But no matter how hard I try, I'm like the two year old trying to force the square block into the round hole, and when it doesn't fit, I throw my little tantrum.

Here is my visual aid :)



Lately, I've started seeing the error of my ways. My life is not what I expected, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy. I'm starting to accept that I am a square block, not round, and I need to find the square hole. I've stared dreaming about my square life.

I want to share just one dream I still hold onto and hope is still part of my square life. I found the floorplan for this house when I was taking interior design in college. I love this house!! Everything about it is just wonderful. I have literally thought and dreamed about this house for going on 10 years now!! I know that in reality I will probably never live in this exact house, but I'm hoping for something similar. So this post is dedicated to dreams. Life may not give us what we expect, but we can still be happy and keep on dreaming.

It's the Little Things

This afternoon I went into my room to find this beautiful colored picture from our 2yr old foster son on my pillow. He had colored it in his nursery class at church. It so made my day. It really is the little things that make life wonderful.

Attempting to Move On

When we signed up with LDS Family Services to adopt, they warned us about failed adoptions. We thought we were prepared, and I thought I could handle it. I deal with the ups and downs of foster care every day, so this should be nothing, right? I've been surprised at how affected I've been by the loss.

I didn't realize how hard it would be to pack up all the tiny unused little dresses, sleepers, shoes, socks and diapers. I didn't realize that I would long so much for a child I never knew, who was never mine, and never will be. I didn't realize I would wonder, how do I go through this experience again and how do I trust them?

I'm trying so hard to pretend it never happened and move on. It was only one month right? A few weeks of hope, joy and anticipation. Surely I should just be able to let it go and move on to the next adoption/infertility experience. My mind is saying move on, but my heart is struggling to catch up. I guess that's where the beauty of the gospel and the atonement comes in. I know with time I will heal and I'll be a better person. I've been blessed with peace and in time the pain and sorrow will go away too.

So where do I go from here? Today I decided to focus on being grateful for what I do have. I have two beautiful foster sons, who I love and adore and who make me laugh every day. I have the most wonderful husband in the world, who steps in when it's just to hard to keep going, and who's always ready with a loving hug. I have the most supportive family and friends anyone could ever ask for. I truly am blessed.

We played with play-dough tonight, and in an attempt to feel normal again, I'm posting pictures of the fun.

Octopus Makeover

Before:
and After:

Failed Adoption

We had our first failed adoption. The baby was born this morning, and the family decided to keep the baby. We're so grateful to all our family and friends for the prayers and support. We have felt the blessings of peace and comfort throughout this experience, and we know it's been a blessing from the Lord.

If you'd like to help us in our adoption process, please post the blog button script for our adoption button on your blog. The last family found us from a mutual friends blog using the button, so we're hoping it can happen again. Let us know if you have any questions on how to add it to your blog. We can email it to you or you can copy it from the script below our button on this blog. Thanks!!

Ross Christmas 2010

Christmas 2010 was a blast! Once again, it's hard for us that we can't post pics of the foster kids, but we worked around it a little in this post.

Family Pic in Savannah, GA. You can see who's the center of attention in our home :)We celebrated our Christmas at home this year before we went to visit family in NC. Opa, Oma and Rachel came to celebrate Christmas with us. It was our first year having Christmas at home. It was so much fun being the parents and creating the boys Christmas experience.

Aunt Rachel being Santa's Helper:
Oma as Santa's Helper:
Clint as Santa's helper:
Opa as Santa's Helper:
Christmas morning after Santa's visit:
Santa brought the boys a huge Geo Trax set. We had so much fun staying up late and helping Santa get the tracks ready.
FC2 & his stocking:
The boys created this lovely gingerbread house with the help of Mommy, Oma and Rachel. My favorite part is Frosty sliding down the roof:
And now for the Carolinas. We flew out to visit Clint's family this year. FC2 was able to come with us and LOVED the plane ride. FC1 is close to moving home, so the state wouldn't allow us to bring him.

We spent the first bit at Hilton Head Island, SC. Christmas with Clint's fam:
Julia & Laura as angels:
Pa, Jared, Carter and Emily as shepherds (Emily looks thrilled :) )
Nana & Pa opening presents:
Clint & his sister Stephanie:
Pa & Nana at the beach:
The gorgeous sunset at Hilton Head Beach:
And then we went to North Carolina near Asheville to Clint's parent's house and found:

Lots of snow and awesome icicles:

FC2 LOVED playing with the farm animals. This pic is one of my favorites. If you look closely you can see he's mimicking the goat, lol.
Then FC2 chased all the animals around:
He had no fear and walked straight up to the horses:
Clint taking care of the horses. The childhood version of myself, that used to watch Man From Snowy River repeatedly with my older sister, would have swooned to know that I would marry this guy:

We couldn't bring a lot of toys with us for FC2 to play with, but we did buy some trucks that also worked as blocks. Throughout the vacation we would find these little block towers randomly throughout the condo/house. They always made me smile: